If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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