Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize