Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
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Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
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Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He did a backflip because drugs
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