you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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