I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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