I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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