Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize