when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
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cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
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The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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