I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize