I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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