why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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