after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We are two peas in an std pod
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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