What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
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I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
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She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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