guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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