3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize