my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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