dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
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I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
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His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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