video games are the ultimate cock blocker
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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