what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
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i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
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You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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