Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize