ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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