the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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