How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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