i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She told me I should be a condom model.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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