I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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