It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
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That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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