How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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