Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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