for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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