That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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