don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
they need to just BURY HIM!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
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just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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