Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
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Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
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well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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