its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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