my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
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I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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