this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
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I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
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Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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