Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize