Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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