fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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