Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize