I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
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I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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