You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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