Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize