Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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