I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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