The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize