May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
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i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
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Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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