Say something about gay babies.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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