How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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