someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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