My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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